Becoming Surefooted is a blog that chronicles my own personal growth. Well, I just achieved a major milestone in my life and I am celebrating it despite the circumstances. The circumstance is being back on the job market; but the milestone is having a new found confidence. I’ve prayed and hoped for this “can do” attitude for many years. Yes, it’s very hard going back to the job hunting, but I won’t let it defeat me. While I don’t know where I’m going to end up, the person who just sat there waiting around is NOT me anymore. In fact, I have a new end goal.
A while back I had another goal which was to travel and possibly joining YWAM. While I still want to travel, God hasn’t given me any peace about joining YWAM just yet. This new end goal is career-focused. I’m feeling pretty confident in this. Now, I understand that this may just be a feeling and feelings fade. I just hope that the fire doesn’t fade. Yes, there will be more setbacks and discouragements, that’s life. Hopefully I will respond the same way when I said goodbye to my previous job. I smiled and said thanks for the growth.
For the record, this confidence doesn’t fully come from me. I need to thank God for building this fire in me. He promised to give me a future and I believe it… for the first time since college.
This week I’ve decided to start my second attempt at reading “Hinds’ Feet on High Places” by Hannah Hurnard. This book is a big inspiration for this blog.
The story is meant to be an allegory for a personal journey to “becoming as surefooted as a deer”. It follows a character, Much-Afraid, and her journey through the mountains and to the “Realm of Love”. During my first attempt at this, I didn’t finish because I got distracted. It was during a difficult period where time was devoted to escaping reality rather than facing it. This is a daily struggle. However, this concept and verse always stuck with me. So I decided to try reading it again and complete it.
Given the blog’s name, I thought posting about the readings would keep me accountable.
Here goes nothing…
I John 4:18 – “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”
Not so good on updating anymore, sorry.
This month I’ve realized two things. 1) The S3 phone is pretty cool even though it’s almost 3 years old. It’s good enough for me. I may be the techie of the family, but there’s no need to get the newest and latest tech. 2) My attitude needs to be fixed.
For the past month since getting the temp job at the local big business, I’ve noticed a change in attitude and I don’t like it. And I know where it’s rooted (fear of failure and rejection) and where it will go (self-sabotage actions).
Luckily, I’ve caught myself on multiple occasions before I did something stupid. Now that I’ve identified this, it’ll be easier to get back on track.
Here’s my new mantra; I will get hired. I will succeed. My eyes are set on a goal.
It’s my last post for NaBloPoMo. Aside from 2/3 days, there was a post for every single day of the month in November! I’m so happy about it! In celebration and just random chance, I went grocery shopping to buy tons of fresh foods and snacks for work this week. Here’s to good health and feeling better!
My family and I are really looking forward to December. My brother and his family are moving into town. Christmas season is here so it’s always festive. It’ll be my second month of work. I really hope and pray that it’ll lead to more opportunities.
It’s been a good month overall and even though I wanted to do more photography, it’s hard being motivated when you’re exhausted. I’ll go back to my weekly blog and hopefully find some structure (again). These daily blogs are hard to reach an audience because I’m still trying to figure out what my blog should be about. So far, it’s mainly an online journal which isn’t bad but I dislike the unstructured format. Somedays I talk about this and then the next day I talk about that. It feels cluttered. So for now, the plan is to figure out what I’m passionate about and focus on that with the occasional random post.
Anyway, thanks for reading whoever’s out there. Thanks for liking a few posts and I hope that everything was enjoyable.
My heart is heavy tonight at the situation in Ferguson. Not because of the verdict but because one man is still dead, a family is still grieving, a larger divide has been created, and peaceful protests won’t be heard in the midst of violence. No matter what the verdict would’ve been… the city and it’s people are hurting.
It’s National Adoption Day! Even though this day is more focused on domestic adoption and foster care, it’s still a day I’d like to recognize because adoption happens everywhere. Twenty-five years ago, I was adopted into a loving missionary family in Ecuador. That day would dramatically alter my life as a baby in a Catholic orphanage. I would’ve grown up into very different person and stayed in Ecuador. So I am beyond thankful for my life.
In all honesty, today would’ve been like any other day except for a FB friend posting about their adoption experience. Since following this person’s experience, I’ve grown particularly fond of adoption and appreciate it more than ever. Out of the many articles and research that are posted, the adoptees’ stories are my favorite. Many of them are written by adults who are close to my age. They wrote about their experiences and feelings. While everyone is not the same, they give me peace of mind about one thing; I’m “normal”. They showed me that the feelings and experiences I had growing up were validated and even normal. Some people would ask why do you need to feel normal? Yes, I embrace who I am and wouldn’t change my experiences but it’s nice to put into words what I was going through. There is one particular article that I cannot find at the moment that made me feel this. In this article, the author put words into EXACTLY how I felt. It was uncanny to see how accurate she was.
Today also is about the importance of education surrounding adoption and even interracial families. In my own ignorance, I forgot how important this is because not everyone knows the same thing I do. But stories like these and these make me realize that it’s actually an issue. It’s one thing for children to NOT understand and I will excuse their curiosity and bluntness. It’s another thing when an adult ask you some ignorant questions. Perhaps the next time when someone asks me about my “real mother,” I will respond a little differently, “My real mother is the woman I call mom. Just like yours.”
Enough negativity because adoption is a beautiful and positive thing. I love hearing about them because it’s a family coming together. Huffington Post has a photo essay showing families being reunited. NationalAdoptionDay.org also has a gallery for this year. It’s absolutely wonderful and it makes me teary-eyed. And today on NAD, what better way to honor it in by following and reading about the families as well as educating yourself about the process and the people.