First 2 Days

I MADE IT! It’s hard to believe that the time is here. I can’t believe it. I am nervous and already had my cry. It was the tired and stress relief cry. It was all my anxiety and lies of the enemy that came fresh into my mind. It’s so good to cry. While those things still come to mind, they aren’t as loud as they used to be. I try not to dwell on them as much. I’m sure there will be more challenges. Right now, I’m way too excited to be here to make a proper adjustment. Just wait til 3 weeks from now.

Just being here reminds me that the Lord is faithful in His promises even when I wasn’t faithful time and time again. It’s a little embarrassing how long it took me to get that He wasn’t going to let me down. I was angry at Him for life circumstances and yet He still said, “Wait, I’ve got this.” because He knew better than I. I am so thankful to be here and I don’t want to waste a single minute.

I don’t have much of an update but I do have prayer requests.

  • Pray for me as I’m learning about who God is and His heart. To be honest, I already know some of what we’ve learned and felt prideful about it. I caught myself several times already in class today thinking, “yeah yeah, I know this…” I’ve had to quiet my thoughts. “Yes, you do already know this but what else can you learn?” Sure enough, I learned a few new things.
  • Pray that I can find the quiet moments when I’m busy doing “work duties”. Pray that my work duties partner will also find the quiet moments. Yes they make us work. Honestly, it’s something that I need to learn. Yes, I’ve been in the work force but there is something to be gained in the doing manual labor.
  • Speaking of manual labor, pray that God will give me supernatural strength. Being anemic, I need every strength that’s available for this season.
  • Pray also for opportunities to reach out to people and that I’ll be bold. There are times where I want to speak but I’m scared.
  • Pray for the girls and guys here. Most of them are fresh out of high school and college and a lot of them are on their own for the first time. Pray for comfort and peace. It’s a scary but necessary step.

Thanks for your prayers and support. I still need it. If anyone want to support me, you can email me at johnsona88@gmail.com for more info.

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From Houston to Tyler

One and a half weeks after announcing that I was going to Houston, I got an update on the situation. Hurricane Harvey flooded out our building. Now, the team will move to the main base in Tyler, TX. Since then, I am actually more excited.

Despite the desire to go into a large city, I remained hesitant. I hesitated that I could do it and worried if the sudden change from Smalltown to Megacity would be good. While I was excited to do something drastic and new, I think what I really need is a time away to reflect and hear from God. Suddenly I got an email saying that they changed the plans. Like a breath of fresh air, I felt so lightweight. God knew what I needed more than I did.  Maybe one day I’ll get my wish of living in a large city but for now this is good.

So here are some of the details:

On October 1, I travel to Tyler, TX to begin my classes. We will have lectures and training. For some people, they learn practical skills on the base that will help them minister to others internationally. As for my school, the focus is on large megacities. Since we can’t be in a large megacity during this phase, I imagine we’ll travel a lot. We will help with some of the recovery in Houston among other things. During this phase, 3 months, we will learn some fundamentals of what it means to be a Christian, be strong in your faith and how to reach out to others.

After the 3 months, we will travel to a city to apply what we learned in the classroom. This is still an unknown because the location is picked during the lecture phase. From my understanding, it will be a busy but blessed time. And I am praying for divine appointments. I want to see people encounter God and I want to encounter God like never before.

It is time for a new season of life and I’m praying that it will change my life. I sat too long on the sidelines (literally) waiting, scared that it might be a mistake and that it isn’t for me. Anxious thoughts and fear plagued me for too long. This is a huge risk for me because I normally sit in the background, quiet and unassuming. I don’t like to draw attention to myself (yet, I have this blog, haha).

At any rate, pray for everyone on the team. Pray that the finances will come in for everyone including myself. Pray for those in Houston, Florida and the Caribbean who were affected by the hurricanes and flooding. Pray that they will feel God’s love and comfort.

If you want to know more about this or help me with finances, please contact me: johnsona88@gmail.com.

 

One Door Closes…

Becoming Surefooted is a blog that chronicles my own personal growth. Well, I just achieved a major milestone in my life and I am celebrating it despite the circumstances. The circumstance is being back on the job market; but the milestone is having a new found confidence. I’ve prayed and hoped for this “can do” attitude for many years. Yes, it’s very hard going back to the job hunting, but I won’t let it defeat me. While I don’t know where I’m going to end up, the person who just sat there waiting around is NOT me anymore. In fact, I have a new end goal.

A while back I had another goal which was to travel and possibly joining YWAM. While I still want to travel, God hasn’t given me any peace about joining YWAM just yet. This new end goal is career-focused. I’m feeling pretty confident in this. Now, I understand that this may just be a feeling and feelings fade. I just hope that the fire doesn’t fade. Yes, there will be more setbacks and discouragements, that’s life. Hopefully I will respond the same way when I said goodbye to my previous job. I smiled and said thanks for the growth.

For the record, this confidence doesn’t fully come from me. I need to thank God for building this fire in me. He promised to give me a future and I believe it… for the first time since college.

~AJ

Hinds’ Feet

This week I’ve decided to start my second attempt at reading “Hinds’ Feet on High Places” by Hannah Hurnard. This book is a big inspiration for this blog.

The story is meant to be an allegory for a personal journey to “becoming as surefooted as a deer”. It follows a character, Much-Afraid, and her journey through the mountains and to the “Realm of Love”. During my first attempt at this, I didn’t finish because I got distracted. It was during a difficult period where time was devoted to escaping reality rather than facing it. This is a daily struggle. However, this concept and verse always stuck with me. So I decided to try reading it again and complete it.

Given the blog’s name, I thought posting about the readings would keep me accountable.

Here goes nothing…

hindsfeetpassage


I John 4:18 – “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”

1 Month Update

Not so good on updating anymore, sorry.

This month I’ve realized two things. 1) The S3 phone is pretty cool even though it’s almost 3 years old. It’s good enough for me. I may be the techie of the family, but there’s no need to get the newest and latest tech. 2) My attitude needs to be fixed.

For the past month since getting the temp job at the local big business, I’ve noticed a change in attitude and I don’t like it. And I know where it’s rooted (fear of failure and rejection) and where it will go (self-sabotage actions).

Luckily, I’ve caught myself on multiple occasions before I did something stupid. Now that I’ve identified this, it’ll be easier to get back on track.

Here’s my new mantra; I will get hired. I will succeed. My eyes are set on a goal.

My Tech Splurge…. 1st World Problems

Every year, normally at the beginning, I splurge on some tech. This happened since 2009/2010. It’s normally not a massive splurge but a splurge no less. I rarely buy things for myself outside of extra food, cell phone bill, gas, etc. Money is something I worked hard for and I don’t like wasting it. Giving tithes is even a challenge, but that’s something I want to work on.

With that said, this week I spent my yearly splurge on a new phone. Up to now, I had this very basic phone for a couple of years. it’s fine, it does what it’s designed to do, calling and texting. But for the longest time, I had my eyes on a smartphone. To some people, it seems pretty crazy. Man, you don’t have a smartphone!? What’s up with that?! That’s weird. And to them, I said, I don’t need one. And, to be honest, I don’t. I wanted one, but need is another thing. In fact, buyer’s remorse kicked in the day after it was bought.

Why did I buy something so unnecessary? Sure, it has a camera that you’ve been dying for and apps that you’d love but really, there’s no need for it.

In fact, I got a phone with a horrible deal which only strengthens the buyer’s remorse. I saved $100 dollars on the phone, but come to find out the data plan is fixed to 500mb (double it for 5$ more) for 30 days which means monitoring is crucial. The other deal I found had 3gb for the same data price but the phone would be $250 extra and at that price, I would’ve gotten a newer phone. I just CANNOT for the life of me justify spending $400-$600 [including accessories] on a frikkin’ phone*.

*sigh*

So I am stuck.

Maybe I’m being spoiled and ungrateful and I hope my heart changes because underneath it all I’m really excited about this phone. I can finally, finally take pictures of moments that I want to capture. I can use Instagram and Pandora without looking like a tool. Taking pictures and carrying around an iPad everywhere just looks stupid. I can use “Couch to 5k” the running app and different other apps. I can finally check email and go online without needing a magnifying glass for the 2-inch screen on the old phone.

My mind might change once I’ve used it.

*prepaid phones

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Update: I’ve had a little bit of time to play with this. I like it. I was being spoiled and scared thanks to bad reviews. But so far this phone is pretty sweet. And the plan was different than advertised. It is 1GB. But I’m still watching it like s hawk.

I got a case and so that’s even better.