My dad passed away on December 8, 2017 at 7:35pm. He was 69.
The timing of his passing showed how gracious God really is. My mom and I attended a fall banquet that he put together every year. He had started preparing for this year’s banquet when he was rushed to the hospital. It was part of his job and since he couldn’t make it, we were asked to come in his place. It was a beautiful banquet as they honored my dad. Then it ended and we had just stepped out to go home when we received the call. At the time, we were incredibly exhausted. We pleaded with God to take dad home soon. When it happened, we were both relieved and heartbroken.
God’s grace was in His timing that my dad passed away after the completion of the last thing he worked on.
Then three days later, I was back in Texas. What a bizarre time it was. I just saw my dad for a final time then I was back in class. Somehow, by God’s strength, I was able to jump back into it. Yes, I wasn’t myself. I hadn’t been myself in a long time it seems. Now I’m on a two-month mission trip traveling around the eastern coast of Florida living in a constant community. It’s very new and sometimes disconcerting considering the circumstances. Though God is with me through it all.
My heart is still grieving, though it’s quieter now and it doesn’t come out as often. The pain isn’t as fresh as it once was. I can finally see a glimpse of light at the end of the long tunnel.
It’s a time of healing right now and there’s a lot of healing needed. Witnessing a love one die is traumatic and only God can heal that. Just as before, clinging onto God is the only option for me. He has done so much in my life that I cannot turn away from Him. Yes, there are times where I want to quit everything and run away but God tells me to keep going. Plus, quitting would not honor my dad’s legacy.
Right now I am back home one more time for the memorial service and burial. We had the memorial service yesterday and just today, we buried him. With that final ending (for now), I feel a weight lift off of me, there was closure.
Now I can go back to my missions. It’s going to be okay.