Coffee with My 16 Year Old Self

I skipped yesterday because I FELL ASLEEP at 10pm in front of my iPad! That was unexpected. So I will write an extra long blog post about the Daily Post prompt, Good Tidings.

On Sunday, I met up with a 16 year old gothic-looking girl. We went to the local coffee shop. We had an hour together before her mom picked her up. As I ordered tea, she ordered Dr. Pepper. I smiled. It’s still our favorite drink. We decided to share a chocolate muffin.

She’s timid and shy as I smile at her. Her outfit is almost completely black except for her purple shirt. Her make-up, nails, accessories, pants, everything was black. She gave me a small smile. We both sat in an awkward silence as we waited for our order. I guess I didn’t really change in that regards, I thought. Our order finally came 3 minutes later.

“I know you won’t believe me but I’m you in 10 years.” I spoke suddenly. Her eyes widened as her face filled with disbelief.

“Yeah, sure,” She muttered. I continued to talk trying to convince her that we were the same. It wasn’t until I mentioned that one secret that we only knew that she believed me.

“So, how’s the future?” She asked quickly. She took a huge drink of the Dr. Pepper. I cringed a little.

“For one, you need to stop drinking Dr. Pepper every week. It’s really bad for you and your teeth will pay for it.  As far as life goes, it’s still challenging. You will continue to figure it out after you graduate college .”

She frowned, “I was hoping to have this figured out by my early 20s.”

I know.

“I see that my style changed.” She looked at my outfit in mild disgust. It was pretty colorful and preppy. Hers was a random mix of goth and punk. In fact, today it would be considered emo.

“Don’t worry, I still like my dark colors, just not as dark as you.” I smiled as I took a sip of my tea.

“You’re too smiley. It’s weird.”

“This is what happens when you realize that life is worth it. In fact, that is my second advice, learn to let go of grudges and hurts. It will make one part of your life easier. Also, let go of that contempt you feel for certain people. It’s not worth it. And in the end, you’ll learn to love them regardless of what happened.”

She knew who I was talking about and frowned even more… if that was possible. She took a bite out of our muffin.

“My third advice, don’t hide the talent you have. Nurture it. Don’t be scared of being yourself. Forget what people may think. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind and ask questions. That’s actually more challenging the older you get. Speak up.”

“Well, the future sounds exciting.” She said, sarcastically, “So, do I have anything exciting to look forward too?”

“Yes, your friends will be there for life. Sandy. Bryant. Brittni. They will be there for you even after they move out of town. You will also gain a best friend from college, She will be like a sister to you. She lives far away but is willing to travel to visit you and your family. There will also be new friends. Cherish them and try to get together with them. This is something I still need to do.”

For the first time, she smiled widely. She was relieved and I could tell. I didn’t want to share too much because I’m a big believer in finding out things yourself. I didn’t want to change the future that much. To be honest, I’m not sure if I would’ve listened to myself 10 years ago. Probably not.

We ate our snack as I asked her questions about her. She didn’t say much at first. But then after a while, she began to open up. Even though I knew most of the answers, I forgot some of them and enjoyed reminiscing about some of the fun time she shared. She spoke about her feelings and dreams as I interrupted her for one last time.

“My final advice is don’t be afraid to dream and dream big. Dream as big as you can and go for it. The world will try to tell you that it’s silly. Your family right now will tell you it’s a silly goal. But I promise you that right now, I’m dreaming of something big and I trust God that it will happen.”

I looked at the clock as our time came to an end. I looked outside and saw Mom pull into parking lot. I turned away not wanting her to see me. We said our goodbyes as she walked out the door. I closed my eyes in silence for 20 seconds as whisked away back into my room.

The original title for this blog was “Conversations with my 16 year old self” as a small tribute to “Conversations” by Pink. I love this song when I’m in the mood for it.


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