Imagine this: You have an opportunity for a wonderful job or internship. Or you’re working on a project that will help you grow professionally. You’re geared up and ready to take on the challenge. Several days or even hours later, you don’t care about it anymore. You don’t try your hardest anymore. You procrastinate.
Is it laziness? Maybe. Boredom. Possibly?
What about self-sabotaging?
Self-sabotage is where you’re offered a great opportunity or relationship and you mess it up by either procrastinating, blowing off a relationship. (Psychology Today article)
Thanks to my mom, I became very aware of what happens when I self-sabotage. I procrastinate on a project or bored with tasks. My last semester of college was horrible and arriving “late” to job interviews proved that self-sabotage was real for me. I’d do my work but to the bare minimum. I didn’t always go to my senior capstone course and I barely passed it. There were other major issues going on but self-sabotage was part of it.
For me, self-sabotage was a result of “This opportunity is too good for me and I didn’t deserve it.” My self-esteem was that low! They say the first step to overcoming it is by acknowledging it and understanding your behavior.
Today, I became aware. This week I’ve been doing the busy task of filing 3 boxes of 3 months worth of paperwork that needed to be filed. It’s tedious and boring. I get sleepy. But it’s work and needs to get done. Today I found myself procrastinating a little (taking a longer time to sort things out) and I started to groan about it (to myself). Then I realized what I was doing. The opportunity to work with my aunt is a fantastic one and I need to stay focused. Why would I want to give that up? So today I needed to remind myself of the poor habit I developed and train my brain to think otherwise.
When you become aware of yourself in an effort to fix those poor behaviors or happens, it’s amazing how easy it is to overcome them.
Of course, I can’t do it alone so I credit my mom for saying something and to above all, God, who will continues to open my eyes