Candy Surprise and More Inside

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I opened my mailbox and found two of the sweetest things ever. One is my ID card. I was so happy. Last month, it went missing and I almost cried because I don’t want to buy a new one, it’s too expensive. So that was an answer to prayer and a start to a good afternoon. Another thing I found was a bag of candy. It was from a friend. Until now, I realize what a blessing it is. The funny thing is, we’re not all that close. Yet, this person chooses to give me a gift. It made me realize a few things. How flawed I am and how Jesus can touch my heart through an act of someone else.

For the entire day, I kept thinking negatively. As excited as I was for school to start, I kept focusing on how much I missed my best friend, who graduated last semester, and how bitter I was against people who don’t deserve it. This bitterness started last semester and kept growing. I allowed it. Now, I’m ashamed and tired of it. These people don’t deserve it. The bitterness comes from two things, that until now I just realized what they were; they are rejection and jealousy. I’ve become jealous of the growth that that one person had, the growth in confidence and love this person has for people. And how much people admire this person. I should have been happy for this person, but instead, I grew in spite and was angry with this person and myself. “Why did they have to succeed in college while I struggled?” The feeling of rejection came before this person could reject me, it’s almost like I anticipated it. And because of that, it came.
But then maybe that’s the price. Focusing on negative feelings will get you nowhere. It’ll put you back a few years. But positive thinking and focusing on God will help you grow.
Now, after eating a few of those candy, which is starting to disagree with my tummy, I’m beginning to realize, maybe I can be and want to be genuinely sweet like this candy and the person who gave it to me.
This semester, I want to succeed more than anything, academically, personally and spiritually.
God, that is my confession and prayer.
Listen to me! You can pray for anything, and if you believe, you will have it.
~AJ
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